Here I stand at the edge of creation
Sacred and creative leadership, inclusion and expansion
Expansive memory of an unknown origin A snippet of truth remembered A knowing grasped for in desperate existence To love To be To know Divinity
Dear Creator Spirit,
I wrote the above poem a few days ago and I got super triggered. It led me down a path that I would love to share here with you. There is so much raw truth in it–truth that supports the transformation we are all experiencing in our own ways. I am writing from the edge and it is as scary as it is exhilarating–now that I have gone out on that edge with you there is no going back.
Time to be in a new uncomfortable.
Writing from the edge has a feeling of danger that triggers my nervous system. I feel the need to listen to my system and keep going. Not pushing as I have in the past, but from a different energy–curiosity laced with fear. I want to quit and pull back–give in to all the reasons not to move through this that I have tucked away at the ready.
They are legit reasons too. I didn’t get much sleep, I have a virus in my system that is at times excruciating to my nerves. Nerve pain shooting through my body like a thousand tiny needles relentless in their pursuit to torture me.
I know the difference though between the feeling of simply stopping to rest, pausing to breathe and outright compression at a barrier of my own transformation.
This feels like compression. Uncomfortable, I really want to give up, my body is saying, “Yeah, we are tired. Let’s nap!” While the soul says, “Dear one, you are at a threshold we really need you to move through, you can take your nap, go for a walk, stare off into space, but come back and let’s do this work–together!”
My internal dialogue reflects the midst of the change I am in.
‘I have a choice to honor what I will.’
’The deadlines I have are only my own.’
’There is no reason to push against a perception of some outside force.’
’I choose to create and grow and feel all of what is uncomfortable to help my system expand.’
So here I am, sticking with it, moving through it and discovering that I am not going to die! I actually feel a renewed sense of energy on the other side of this barrier. What is the barrier? Well, honestly, I am not sure. But, if I am guessing it is about boundaries, speaking the truth and standing in integrity with myself.
Creators have within them a responsibility to lead. I don’t mean the leading we have defined in the past as dominance over. This is a sacred relational leadership of the parts of the self in a hierarchy that is more like a holarchy. A combining of experiences, with expression of all aspects of the multidimensional nature of us as essence expressed in form with an ego.
How can I serve my art, my self, the whole if I hide or if I choose to walk to the edge, scream in fear and run? If I tuck my experience away and discount it because someone may not like it? Or it challenges their status quo?
I come to the edge.
I feel the fear.
And I trust that the edge is only my mind and ego creating a convenient obstacle for me to choose. To play safe, to jump and fall to my death or is there other possibilities that I may consider.
The edge is the unknown. As artists we get to push that edge and go to the unknown. Leadership in your art, as a maker of art, is a way of saying, “Hey, this is how everyone else is doing it, what happens if I go over here? What happens if I do it this way? What happens if……..?
The expansion is in the questioning. We don’t have to fight the restrictions on the outside of us. The restrictions are on the inside and we can choose to fight, to flee or to freeze up. And all of that. And something else…..Yes And!
My friend Claire Sangster, who writes A Magical Path, and I have been Yes Anding for years! So much so that we want to name our healing approach: the Yes And Approach and copyright the name!
We infuse all that we do with this as an underlying principle. What if there is more than two options?
In a world created by the linear mind, binary choice is all there is. The world of the artist, creator, spirit, excludes nothing. It includes and transcends-we don’t throw the baby out with the bath water!
The world we are creating together includes where we were, what we learned, experienced and grew through. The thinking that created the world we live in currently is what is shifting and it must if we are to expand toward a harmonic expression that is in alignment with the whole of the cosmos.
We no longer just get to think of ourselves as separate parts of a whole. We are the whole, together.
And there, right there, my brain says, “Whoa! Hold on there, what?!”
This is how I know I am on to something, I am creating dissonance within my own programmed thinking. If you feel this now, just breathe and know you are expanding your mind to include and transcend.
We are ripe to expand and walk through the changes together. All of us are needed for this and there is nothing wrong or right for that matter. Let’s just play with it and see where we all go!
With Love and Cosmic Dreaming,
Deborah
P.S.
I have got a few things I am working on over here that I am super excited about and very edgy for me!
A Dreaming Orchard.
It is a new paid subscriber publication I am offering inside the Cosmic Dreaming Lodge Substack.
It is a space for creators who are walking to the edge, wanting to expand or simply want to be in the energy of a creative space without all the work to do in a structured program.
It is a field of creative energy cultivated with the guides of the Cosmic Dreaming Lodge and will be the place I will share the stories of the guides, ceremonies and transmissions for you to receive as medicine for your creative expression.
The subscription price is $8.00/month or $80.00/year to join.
I will be posting the first story with initiatory ceremony on July 10th.
And coming soon…..[Re]Imagine podcast. Claire and I are recording Episode One this week to drop on July 23rd! Stay tuned in for reminders to join us!
As always visit Cosmic Dreaming Lodge for more info on 1:1 retreats in Sedona and opportunities to heal dream and create.
Here is a snippet of a testimonial from a recent guest:
This work is my next level—an embodied, intuitive path of inner knowing, deep listening, and living from a place of resonance, flow, and truth. I’m so grateful to have found a guide and channel like Deborah who can help me fine-tune my own.
— Linda Seebantz, Founder, True Story Communications